you know, i read a story somewhere from a woman who said something along the lines of: “i am suicidal. but it’s not what you think.” she had a normal life, wasn’t harming herself, wasn’t particularly in a hard situation…it was just a constant feeling of “if i died, i wouldn’t mind,” and “wow, i actually feel like being dead would be easier.”
the fact that people from my school probably read my blog to screenshot and make fun of in group chats is the only reason why i felt hesitant to talk about this. but, honestly, i don’t really care- i use my blog to vent and to talk and so i will. today, on the 4th of april, i decided and completely came to the conclusion that i am suicidal. and it’s honestly not what you think.